Talk With Your Listening Voice

I said these words to my husband, Vernon, a few days ago, after a coaching session I had just completed. I was so pumped up and maybe my excitement made him excited but every time I tried to tell him something he started talking. I was getting frustrated and finally said, “Talk with your listening voice!”

We both laughed and then I said, I am going to quote myself and blog about that statement! So, here goes.

In coaching classes it is drilled into us to learn how to master deep listening skills. This is not always easy. It is not something we can develop overnight. Deep listening involves focusing on the other person and not letting my mind wander, or even be thinking ahead for what I might say after the other person is finished speaking. I have a feeling many of you are thinking that you have done the same while listening to a friend.

As an example, let’s say my friend is telling me about an experience she had at work that left her feeling down about herself. As she is finishing telling me what happened, my mind is going to an event in my past where nearly the exact situation occurred to me and I cannot wait for her to stop talking so I can share my experience! Breathe! This is completely the opposite of deep listening.

As a coach, we are trained to avoid (no, really stop) our own habit of sharing experiences but rather focus on helping the other person continue to talk through her experience and guide her next steps towards resolution. Deep listening.

I have found myself loving this part of coaching, and I am excited when I use these skills, not only while coaching, but in everyday life as well. Have you considered hiring a coach? Contact me. I would love to be a part of your story!