Imposter Syndrome

The words “Imposter Syndrome” seem to be used a lot these days. I have seen it in various settings to include coaching dialogues, social media posts and even at my full-time job focused on employee performance. 

When I looked up the phrase (Googled it), the first “definition” indicated it is “doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud.” I can admit I have doubted my abilities at times, but I don’t know that I can say I have ever truly felt like a fraud! That seems harsh to me. But, then again, in low times maybe I did. 

Coaches talk about Imposter Syndrome and how to help someone who is dealing with these types of feelings and how coaching can help someone work through it by guiding them through a focused coaching session. As a coach myself, I believe it can be overcome through coaching. However, for this blog, rather than focus on what coaching can do, I want to dig into this Imposter Syndrome a little bit more. I have spent some time learning more about this topic and the following are some takeaways. 

I listened to a speaker recently, who discussed the “Imposter Syndrome” and how it can cause self-limiting beliefs. She listed a few examples how imposter syndrome shows up, to include not being able to accept a compliment, an inability to be vulnerable and being either a workaholic or a perfectionist. This last example of being a perfectionist surprised me a little, as I fit this category. Knowing and understanding my perfectionistic traits helps me work on it and press forward to be my authentic self. Another piece of Imposter Syndrome shared was underselling yourself – whether that be daily on the job, during a job interview, or on the personal side. Even saying, “I’m sorry” can drag us down the road of feeling defeated and less worthy. The speaker also touched on our inner thoughts and how they can “hijack” our confidence. 

What is your inner voice telling you? Is something hijacking your thoughts and confidence? 

I saved a quote from the speaker, “Nobody is thinking about you like you are thinking about you.”  I absolutely LOVE that! We can think the worst about ourselves. While I might be telling myself things about how I look or how I handled a work issue, others likely saw something completely different – maybe even good, or great! Yes, it can be great – YOU can be great without falling prey to the Imposter Syndrome. 

There was a time in my career when I doubted my own knowledge. All I could think was that no one could possibly think I knew what I was doing when I didn’t even believe in myself! I would tell myself that no one listened to me, and I was my own worst critic. What I needed to learn was how to reframe my thoughts, my limiting beliefs and begin to believe I was capable and worthy. Ultimately, I have learned to believe in myself and trust in God for everything. I would never say I get this right every time, but I do try. 

Trust is a huge part of overcoming self-limiting beliefs and falling prey to the Imposter Syndrome. “Limiting beliefs” are simply what we say to ourselves when we believe we are not good enough to apply for that new job or quit a job and take a leap of faith toward something new and something we really, really want. Do we choose to accept where we are? As a coach colleague shared with me, “I was uncomfortable enough to make a change” when she took a leap and left the corporate world to pursue her passion of art and also became a coach. She admitted it was scary, but felt it was “scarier not to.” 

During October I have shared the following Maya Angelou quote. I can’t resist including it here: 

“Don’t make money your goal. Instead, pursue the things you love doing, and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off of you.”

So, what are you doing to “pursue the things you love doing?” What am I doing? 

As a Christian, I feel extra strength and support from God that I cannot imagine not having. My trust and hope are in God first, but if I don’t believe in myself and rather support my limiting beliefs, I cannot take that next step, that leap of faith! 

Let’s get together and talk about this more!